On Monday night, April 8th, 2013 I was sitting in
Crisis Counseling of all places and the lockdown alarm went off at school. A faint voice came out of the phone
intercom system in our classroom, and until it said, “this is not a drill” the
majority of the class believed that our professor was profoundly creative and
had devised the best possible teaching experience.
As the next few second unfolded, the lights were turned off,
the door was locked and we were silently sitting against the wall. It was a bit reminiscent of the drills
that we went through as small children, sitting silently in a line in our
elementary school hallway. But
this in fact was real. I found
myself sitting on the floor, legs tucked tight, shaking. My body had kicked in, and while I
still felt reasonably calm, my body was exhibiting a true stress reaction.
We quickly learned that there were 4 gunmen on campus. In the form of a true crisis, the
information that we were receiving was incomplete and inconsistent. At the direction and in the wisdom of
our professor we began to pray as a group.
In those moments of prayer, God did a very very cool
thing! As I was praying for safety
and wisdom for our faculty, leadership, police, and the silly silly men with
guns God spoke directly to my heart.
He told me, this….now this was not in audible words but you know how it
works. You hear things in your
heart and you just know they are God.
“You are my child and I love you, I will protect you. I have brought you through rape, the
death of Matt and many other traumas.
I HAVE HEALED YOU, I will continue to heal you! No matter what happens I am in control
and I will bring you through this.
I am sovereign!”
In that moment, I had peace. In a moment where I should have by all human standards been
a mess, I was at peace. I am
thankful for that peace, I am thankful for the provision of God and for the
healing of God. In moments where I
think that I have so much further to go in my healing, and I trust that God has
a great deal more healing planned, wow what a long ways God has brought
me! I find myself grateful and
humbled and very excited for what God has in store, the healing he has yet to
complete in my life!
My role is simply to open myself up and allow him to work,
we all have areas in our lives where we shut God out, and choose to try to make
it all on our own. I can’t fathom
why any of us choose to try to do this life in our own strength – but we all do
in one way or another – my challenge to you in to figure out what that area is
and surrender. God is good and he
is faithful!
Oh yea…cliffhanger…it ended up actually being one guy with a
gun, the other 2 were captured very quickly and the final guy was captured
almost 2 hours later. SO, the
lesson from that is, until you know without a shadow of a doubt that the worst
possible thing is actually happening, you may as well assume it’s not within
the realm of safety! Everyone is
safe and sound and God is good!!!
