Boom Box vs. Blackberry

Technology has really killed dating, I‘d like to blame men here because that would be really easy but I think the real answer is technology. It is very reminiscent of a song we all know and love “video killed the radio star” and isn’t it true!

Let’s think back to when we were all a little bit younger and maybe in the dating world a bit more respectful of each other….Scooby Doo moment please!

We didn’t have cell phones or caller ID, there was a real risk of someone not answering the phone and if they didn’t answer we didn’t freak out and assume they were screening our calls. The understanding was that they were not at home and we went on with our lives and called back later.

There were absolutely no text conversations, while these convos are handy and helpful when you’re stuck on the el or in a movie they really have no place when you want a girl to feel special. And ultimately if you want to date her shouldn’t that be some part of your goal?

Oh my gosh instant messaging programs like AIM , the original downfall in college and now gchat! It is so easy to flirt and talk and go really deep with a person without being intentional. There is no risk of looking a person in the eye and saying what you feel, or revealing part of your heart. Why not hide behind the screen and keyboard; it’s easy and safe right?

The problem with all of this technology is that while it is easy to start a conversation, it is also very easy to get confused. Nobody really feels special when they get asked out over facebook or by text message. And with so much communication without actual words, meaning can get very confused. Is he flirting or is he just making a joke that is seen as flirting because he’s cute…what in the world is going on?

And now my favorite memory from dating years prior to this technology craze…a guy tossing little pebbles at your window or shoes or whatever was handy hoping you’d hear him! And of course the boom box serenades!!! Where in the world has the creativity gone! It seems like the sparkle and romance of dating is completely stripped away when it comes down to the “ping” of your blackberry alerting you that there is potential suitor waiting…

A one legged control freak of a DUCK!

So now it’s Monday and we’ve all had some time to think about a few areas in our lives we are unwilling to allow God to control. I guess the question now is why should we allow God to have control of our lives and why are we so darn reluctant?!?

I speak for myself of course and ask that you search your hearts too; anyone who knows me well knows that I have struggled with control in my life and my personal walk. If you completely let go of control it can be a scary thing, it is scary to let go and not know what is around the corner; to walk blindly in faith. But let’s be real here, we’re not giving control to a person, or a random stranger that happens to be walking down the side walk. We are talking about giving control to God!

In Matthew 10:38-39, Jesus talks of losing your life to find life eternal in Him! (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Matthew+10%3A38-39) If you are holding onto control do you really think you are taking up your cross and following Him, are you really losing your life of sin and allowing Christ to bless you with a life much greater? Why would I not want this, why would any of us want to hold onto our lives on earth when there is so much greater promised? Why would we want to hold onto a life that separates us from Christ?

He has this all figured out, so what am I trying to control? Am I just a one legged duck, kicking like crazy to swim in a circle and accomplish nothing? If we’re talking about worry or control I believe yes, they both accomplish nothing! Ephesians 2:10 tells us that “we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Ephesians+2%3A10) How incredibly awesome is that! God loves us so much that he takes the time to prepare good works for us to walk in, to point the glory back to Him! SO cool it rocks my world every time! But let’s listen carefully here because it doesn’t say that He prepared them so that He could drag us kicking and screaming into them! So that we could WALK, while He has lovingly prepared these acts for us, we must choose to walk; we must choose to allow Him to work through us.

We cling so desperately to control aspects of our lives that we have no chance of controlling, even when we know it’s not best. We think if we have control we won’t get hurt, or we won’t fail, but that’s not really true is it! Holding onto control really just tells us that deep down we don’t trust God to take control, we don’t trust Him to take care of us or know what is best. Do you really believe that? Do you really think you know more? Are you a control freak? I know every single time in my life I have been truly devastated and broken it has started with me taking control, and every time I have seen great growth and healing God has had that control and glory! That’s enough for me, what will it take for you? When will you decide to let go of control and truly trust that God will provide?

nah I'm not a control freak...

Recently I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what it means to really surrender every aspect of life to God, to let go of control. In so many conversations I've had over the past week the topic of control has been a theme. Every time I have stumbled in my walk it has been an issue of control, not that I have for some reason felt that God has left or forsaken me but that I NEEDED control! But why??? Why would I ever be so arrogant to think that my plans are greater than God's? Let's be real when we take control that's what we are saying, that we don't trust God to have our best interest in mind. That we know more! Whoa!!!

So if you are reading this and obviously you are...think about the areas of your life that you are unwilling to surrender control. It may not be in a big way, it may just be a little bit of control you are clinging to, but think hard. Are you being a control freak too? Keep that in your heart and mind, pray about it, the areas of control that God is asking you to turn over to Him...and stay tuned...there's more to come on this topic!!!

Run Forrest.....

Since I know everyone reading my blog is as interested in my running as I am (so not true I know)...

My doctor has cleared me to run. I pushed her to define exactly what this meant and she said I could run a few miles and see how it went. So taking that under advisement I am meeting with my marathon coach on Saturday to make a plan! I'm sure that is not what she had in mind but I think it's a good compromise! At least it's not a mud run with obstacles!

Wish me luck, and please refrain from saying I told you so!

If you're going to Be Ruth - BE RUTH!

Recently I've been hearing a lot of my friends say to "Be Ruth", and go out there and be bold, but ladies if you are going to BE Ruth make sure you are really BEING RUTH! Make sure you truly know what that means before you give counsel to a friend that is hurting because she hasn't been on a date with that cute boy. I would challenge all of us to be Ruth but truly BE RUTH, all of who she was, don't just cherry pick the attributes of Ruth's character that fit with society or are easy to adapt!

So maybe now you are asking, well Camille, who was Ruth what was her character, what attributes of Ruth should I emulate. Great question! I am of course not a formally trained theologian, this comes from my understanding of who Ruth was, biblical history and of course the ways that God has used Ruth in my life. So if you have questions, ask - if you think I'm wrong, that's fine but please find the scripture to refute it, don't argue with emotions.

Let's start with a little background. Ruth was a Moabite, daughter-in-law to Naomi and a widow. There is a book in the OT dedicated entirely to Ruth, she was a strong woman who loved the Lord. I could continue on for a very long time but we don't want this to be longer than the actual book of Ruth. We need to remember that the book of Ruth is not entirely about how to attract a man but on first blush many of us would like to only see those parts. The story of Ruth and Naomi is a story of great suffering and how both Naomi and Ruth were faithful to God and he delivered them and provided for them through their suffering.

So here we go, how to be RUTH

1) Most important - Ruth followed God and had complete faith in the Lord. She was willing to leave everything that she knew for the Lord. One example is when she left her entire family and country to stay with Naomi. She pledged her devotion to the Lord and Naomi in Ruth 1:16-17. (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+1%3A16-17)

2) Trust that the Lord will provide what you need - Naomi and Ruth left the land that they lived in and went back to Naomi's homeland with nothing,trusting that the Lord would provide for them there. Ruth 1:6-7 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+1%3A6-7)

3) Listen to strong women who are seeking hard after God - Ruth didn't ask for advice from everyone she knew! Naomi who loved God deeply told her what to do and she did it knowing that Naomi was a women who loved God and would act according to God's will. And ladies, if you are the women that are giving the counsel, and you know the guy is not interested - do not advise your friends to "Be Ruth" and put themselves out there! Ruth 2-3 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+2%3A2-3)

So those are most of the God buckets and the really hard ones! Once those are all functioning as they should and you are seeking first God's will in the situation not your own, seeking wise counsel, asking God what to do and trusting Him alone to take care of this...then you can move onto the more action oriented Ruthisms... But remember my dear friends the first 3 must be the priority! You can be Ruth all you want but if God doesn't want you with whoever you are being Ruth towards it's not going to bring God glory, or build your character.

4) Ruth selected a man based on his heart not looks - Boaz was older than Ruth and was not as "attractive" as some of the other men. She placed herself in front of a man who had a good heart. Ruth 3:10 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+3%3A10)

5) She placed herself in front of Boaz - she didn't wait for Boaz to come up to her standing in a corner feeling bad for herself, she showed up to work in his field day after day. But please don't interpret this as an open invite to stalk men at work - it's not! Ruth 2:3 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+2%3A3)

6) That being said - Boaz was not attracted by her determination, her cute dress, sandals or fancy makeup - Boaz took care of Ruth because he heard of everything that she had done for Naomi and her love of the Lord. So the focus of how you would "get the attention" of a good Jesus loving man would not be from just being present but being present and seeking after God. Allow the fruit in your life to do the talking. Ruth 2:11-12 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+2%3A11-12)

7) Accept the man's leadership and protection - Boaz took care of Ruth, he told the men in his fields to give her water and leave grain for her to glean - he looked out for her. If a man does this, allow him to. Allow him to lead and protect as much is appropriate. This is most likely his way of showing that he cares, and let's be real, if you want a man to lead your marriage you better be dating a man who is willing to lead! Ruth 2:8-9 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+2%3A8-9)

8) She layed at his feet - now this one is always thought to be a little bit out there. But when you look at what this really meant - it was not that she was going and climbing into his bed and saying Boaz here I am! In the cultural context, to put his cloak over her would be a signal to a kinsman redeemer (which Boaz is) that she was open to marriage. Due to the age difference he would not have initiated this process. Ruth 3:8-11 (http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=ruth+3%3A8-11) So from this I would say, without being so obvious that it is sick, when he has done the upfront to make it clear that he is interested (number 6 & 7) then make it clear to him that you would be interested in dating him - but please don't crawl under his shirt!

Whoo, that was long...I hope it helped! It sure is a lot to think about, glad you stuck it out!

I dreamed a dream in time gone by....

Dreams mean so much in our lives and can take over so much of who we are, and direct who we become (for better or worse). When we are little kids we dream of who we will be when we grow up, what our wedding will look like and on and on. Often our capacity to dream effects who we are, and who we push ourselves to be. But that's not the kind of dream I currently have floating around in my head, currently I find myself thinking about the dreams that invade my sleep.

Every night if you are getting good sleep, you are dreaming whether you remember it or not. And please don't test me on this because it's one of those random facts that is not sourced. But you dream all these dreams and at times they are so vivid that they wake you up. And you spend time talking about them with friends in your waking hours.

There is a part of me that loves these vivid dreams, they can be so much fun! You can spend time with old friends who have long passed gone to see Jesus, and just have fun as a spectator of the craziness of dreams. But sometimes they are just plain cruel, the dreams that would best be characterized as nightmares. The ones that wake you with screams and you can't decide if they are real. Would you take the good for the bad, the horror for the joy? What would our nights be like if we didn't dream at all? I'm guessing they'd be awfully lonely and not nearly as interesting! But for the sake of everyone involved, unless God has blessed you with the gifts he gave Joseph ( http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Genesis+40 )leave the dream interpretations alone!

Side note: If you can tell me the source of the title, "I dreamed a dream in time gone by..." without the use of the internet you get major points!

I'm not qualified to "Build a Bear"!

So I have recently found myself in multiple conversations about my relationship status, which is single. On a work trip a co-worker asked if I was married, my response was no, she asked why not and assured me that "someday it will happen, someday you'll find that perfect guy!" Oh geez, thanks for the vote of confidence!

Next a conversation with one of my guy friends, but the best quote I heard was from my friend Ash. "I wish I could just build a guy like you do at Build-A-Bear!" This started me thinking, because of course I have spent way too much money in Build-A-Bear in the past.

Now it has been a while since I've been to Build-A-Bear but if I remember correctly you start the bear creation process by selecting the perfect bear, and then picking out his heart, make a "wish" for your bear and then hope it all comes true.

If I really think about it, this isn't really all that different from how we date. We find a guy or gal that we find attractive and has a heart that we like and then we place hopes and dreams on the relationship and hope that it will work. At some point someone sees something that they don't like and we are back to the bear factory.

I have multiple hand crafted bears under my bed, or in my room that I thought were perfect when I made them. I thought that they were everything that I wanted. But sure enough I was wrong. Why? Maybe a bit because I was a kid and am older and wiser now. I could also argue that I will be older and wiser when I am 50 and will I want to throw my 28yr old bear under the bed like I did my 16yr old bear?

I guess this leaves me only one suitable option, I can trust God to build me a man that He knows will fit and I can forget about trying to fit a man into my mold or shape him into the man I want or need him to be. And I guess this leads back to that conversation with my guy friend, patience...I have to continue to learn and exercise patience! No more bear building, because let's be real, I'm just not qualified!