All while my foot was getting unscrewed...

So this morning I had the screw removed from my foot…and since I was completely awake and not sedated I have a few humorous conversations to report…

CONVERSATION #1
Dr. Blake: Hi, you probably don’t remember me from last time (he assists my doctor-I think)
Me: Actually I do, you don’t like your girlfriends lipstick, right?
Dr. Blake: Wow, yes and she’s my wife.
Me: Oops, didn’t remember that part.
Dr. Blake: Yea, interesting that you remember the lipstick. I guess I hoped people would remember me as nice or that I’m from Florida.
Me: You’re from Florida?
Dr. Blake: Yes, we talked about this last time.
Me: REALLY? I have no memory of this…
His phone rings, rather it neighs like a horse
Dr. Blake: In fact that’s her…we have horses.
Me: Glad to hear that, I was really hoping you didn’t have her ringer set to a NAG!

CONVERSATION #2
At this point they’ve started doing whatever it is they do with my foot and I’m not paying attention. I am actually listening to my ipod, because who wants to listen to doctors unscrew a screw from their bone…
Dr. Blake: wah wah wah
Me: Sorry, what was that? I wasn’t really listening…
Dr. Blake: Great, not even listening…if you stop listening completely you’ll have to marry me!

CONVERSATION #3
Dr. Schoene: Camille do you want your screw?
Me: What for?
Dr. Schoene: You could take it to cocktail parties!
Me: Serious?
Dr. Schoene: Well some people do…

CONVERSATION #4
Surgery is all over at this point and I’m about to be wheeled out of the operating room.
Me: So Dr. Schoene, how soon can I run?
Dr. Schoene: Camille, please wait at least a week!
Nurse: How long has it been, years?
Me: Nope, just a few days.
Nurse: Um, you were running with a screw in your foot?
Me: Yeppers!
Nurse: Hmm, OK!